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Personal Musings : Ecstasy that Motherhood Brought With It

Late last year, I realized my life was about to change forever. I found out I was pregnant. From that moment on I was ecstatic. Finishing college, moving places amidst happiness followed, step by step moving towards that day, when my bundle of joy would be in my hands.
I moved bases to be with my parents and in laws during the last trimester. No morning sickness, no food cravings, no stress nor any health issues, everything seemed to be going the way it should be. And then, I entered the eight month of my pregnancy when things started to change.
I went for my routine check-up only to find out I had developed PIH and I already had hypothyroidism since before pregnancy. I was ordered complete bed rest. in this one month alone, I had rushed twice to the hospital for reduced foetal movements. We all, my doctor included, were hoping to stretch the pregnancy up until 37th week.
But my little angel was in a hurry to meet us all and decided to show up a 34+6 weeks. I rushed to the hospital once again with reduced foetal movement. FHR was thankfully good, but there was no movement following glucose drips being given to me. They carried out the CTG and decided I needed an emergency c-section.
We were rushed to a different hospital with better OT and NICU facilities. And my little one was born on 5th July 2015 at 23:23, exactly a week before my birthday. At that moment, I too was reborn as a mother. Hearing his first cry, my heart was filled with gladness, to know he was alive and well. But that was the only time I didn't mind his crying.
I was told, after the first cry, he had gone into distress, but recovered. So they would be keeping him in the NICU for 24 hours under observation. But the situation worsened and 24 hours under observation turned into 5 days in NICU with ventilator and so many tubes poking into his little body and another 5 days in NICU. We were finally discharged after a 14 day stay in the hospital.
But those 14 days, had brought me as much pain as happiness. Looking at him in so much pain, killed me every day, every instant. But knowing he was in good hands and getting better everyday, brought me solace and happiness. 
We were discharged on 18th July and since then, I have known no
greater joy than to look at you doing whatever you have been doing. And I have known no greater pain than seeing you in discomfort of any kind.
My little angel turned 3 months old on 5th October and I don't know where the time has flown. When did he grow up so? When did he turn a quarter of an year old? His smile sweeter by the day... his love deeper by the hour... his antics colorful by the minute... and my love for him, growing by the second.
I have seen him reach one milestone after another -
  • getting off the ventilator
  • coming out of the NICU
  • learning how to breastfeed after being fed through tubes for first 14 days of his life
  • socially smiling
  • responding with his baby words... to name a few.
These 3 months have been nothing but a collage of memories and a book full of stories. My sun rises with him and it sets with him. My world revolves only around him. He has given me the greatest gift on my 28th birthday, a gift of himself and he is irreplaceable.
Love you Shona...

Stay Blessed!

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